Interesting Things

Well some really interesting things happened on Sunday.
I decided to visit my old Church on Sunday with my next door neighbours (i haven't been in years) and anyway, there's this guy there called Matt. Matt is freaky coz he looks like me, has my name, has the same famly situation as me, goes to my old church and lives in the same street as i used to (opposite coogee beach... i am so jealous). Anyway we met about 3 years ago and became really good friends. We got along instantly and over the next few months we realised we had more and more in common and just really liked each other, we had sleepovers and went to the beach together and church together. I'd probably say he was my best friend at that time. Anyway, we had a falling out around 2 months before i went to Tasmania, so around October 2002. We were at a church event where we were walking fom coogee to bondi and back along the beach. It was fun but i was angry coz he was ignoring me (in my eyes) and he said something i he shouldn't have (that i was really hypersensitive about so i was really angry) so i wouldn't speak to him, and he didn't speak to me (hey i was in yr eleven, i wanted to milk the drama for all it was worth, i was so stupid). So then i was more angry coz a week went by and HE hadn't appologised and i thought he should of. Anyway to cut a long story short i got angry, told him off, he told me off and now he and his family really dislike me a lot.
And anyway, he was there when i visited, i hav visited church before but we haven't spoken in 3 years, andyway, i felt like God wanted me to make some sort of peace, so i wrote him a card saying "Matt, im sorry for things that happened years ago and for being so pigheaded, hope you can forgive me". Anyway i went up to him and asked how he was goin, there was a bit of tention and stuff but it was okay, and i said "Look, Matt, i feel really bad about what happened 3 years ago, it was heaps petty n im really sorry." And gave him the card and he said 'it's cool', and i walked away and that was it. I don't know if he took it but it felt good just to say that.
So that was interesting thing that happened first.
The next interesting thing was we had prayer ministry afterwards and like prophetic ministry afterwards and it was really realy awesome. Its funny coz some prophetic ministry u get its like 'ok, errrm, i dn't know if that was God or just you'... but othertimes its like 'yeah, that was totally God, coz there's no way u would of known that'. And it was the second type. So that was really really cool, and very very encouraging. So that was interesting thing number 2.
Interesting thing number three is that i went o my friends baptism at their church, revival life centre. I really didn't enjoy the service (its not my style) but it wasawesome seeing them get baptised and stuff and there were heaps of people from school there. In this weekend i hav seen more school people that in the last 3 years of being away from Sydney. So that was bizzare and the third interesting thing that happened on Sunday.
Today my friend is comin over and my brothers here too, so thats fun. And yay. 3 sleeps till melbourne. YAY! :D
Keep making comments on my blog pooheads. God Bless.

Pancakes for EVERYONE!!! YAY!

Today is Saturday and yes i haven't blogged for 3 days just purely because my computer is so slow, because i illegally downloaded heaps of songs, and so now i hav overloaded the hard drive so the internet often can't open pages, and the blogsite is one. See boys n girls, this is what happens when you break the law. Im showing what NOT to do. Haha. Naa apparantly it was legal, yeah, i am choosing to believe what i want to hear. (So that makes it okay)... There's good logic for you :D
ANYWAY... So yeah today i went t oa Pancake party at my next door neighbours hous. My neighbour and i have known each other since i was two coz we went to the same church (the bestest church i have eva eva eva been to and still regard it as home. But i can't go back to it) And we went to the same school, and we live next door, so we go way back! Anyway it was kind of like a music thing and all her musically inclined people played. They wer brilliant. Honestly there was this one girl (she actually has a single out now) and she was the best live. I couldn't believe it. It sounded so muych better than a CD... It was awesome, and her lyrics rocked. ANd so yeah and we made pancakes.
AND there were people from my old school grade. OMG. That was so weird c'ing people again (for those of you who don't know i wasn't the most popular metrosexual at school... Not that im a metrosexual i hate that word)... But ANYWAY, it was freakin weird. But it was really cool as well. We laughed about old times. They're all going so good. They are doing Uni (like all of them... i feel so dumb, coz i cant get in), and they are going really well with God have really close Christian friends and stuff, i'm really glad they're going so well. It's awesome to see.
When i talked tp them about stuff i've been doing, it was funny they all thought it was bloody fantastic (like that it would be really fun to be me and that it was cool what i was doing and lkike i jknew wheere i was headed) and yeah, so that was kind of nice, but at the same time its kind of like, well they can never REALLY know, what its like doing what i have done and i didn't go into details, but yeah, it was really cool seeing everyone. Wish id actually stuck around n kept in contact with people but it was impossible moving around from state to state.
I discovered, i really am sick to death of moving around all the time. I never stay in one place long enough to make good friends and being in F it is hard being commited to a church (possible but hard). Its hard coz i've left so many people behind me. In F, people leave arounf every 6 monhths and in between soetimes, so that's heartbreak all the time. I think now i try not to get attatched to people so that when they leave it doesn't hurt. It actually does hurt physically when i think of all the friendships i have gained and lost, and how many people are interstate. Its weird coz you think you'll be friends forever but its not necessarily true.
There's this one guy called Blake. He was my first guy friend, he was so special to me, we were best friends and we used to sit up every nigh till 2 am talking about how we would change the world, we had a two year plan to change Australia. It's kind of cute when i thin about it now. But Blake left, he lives in Western Australia, in Perth, we don't talk. Its a bit sad actually when i think about it. But yeah. Thats why i really want to settle down in a location, really be connected to a church and work on having friendships and not leave people behind.

I am going out tonight for a 21st, i have never been to one before, so that should be fun. It sfor Erina, who is a really good friend of mine. We;ve been friends forever, we're like sista's haha. And anyway, yeah, that should be fun
I had a meeting for this evangelical group that i used to do in Highschool, i was managing a group called Tru Blu with my old Kindergarten teacher, it was pretty much just a group of friends and we did dramas, dances and songs and we toured L.A> in America doing that, and we've done some parts of Australia. We're organising a group from America to come down and join us in July, we're meant to be touring (not sure if i can yet) and so there's gonna be lots of americans around. We're tryin to get them performin in heaps of schools and churches, so yeah, it should be fun!
It was good to hang out with the old tru blu gang again actually. It was really awesome. Its like we have this bond coz we did missioni with each other. Id love to be involved again. Just not sure i can. Because we;re now grown up, we lead the highschoolers now, so its cool. Actually i reckon heaps of you kids from Hornsby would love it. I teach the dances and the guys singing (believe it or not i can actually sing some), and my friend teaches the drama and its awesome, everyone does it all and its fun! So yeah im hoping whatever im doing, i can be involved again, coz they don't have anyone leading the guys or managin any of the finances anymore or admin. So its going slowly atm. So pray for that plz.
Yay! 4 sleeps to Melbourne! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna hav so much fun!
hopefully. But a bit is scary too.
Oh WWEEELLL C U ALL LATER, hopefully i'll b able to blog before i go, if not, goodbye, c u in three weeks (well, 2.5 after i leave).

AAPT SMARTCHAT!

I was an EXTRA again today! This time it was the AAPT smartchat add. So you should see it in like 6 to 8 weeks. It was soooo bizzare. It was set in this GEORGEOUS house overlooking Sydney Harbour bridge. OMG it was sooooo obviously damn expensive. OH MAN. I think one lady guessed it was worth about 5 mill. Anyway, we were having a family reunion and everyone had to wear these blue shirts that all said something different on them like 'always late' or 'lazy' or 'Im a liar'...
My t-shirt said 'No Man' and then i was praying that i could swap coz im like HELOOOOOOO what is that meant to mean? RUDE. But yeah. They switched t-shirts and gave me one that said 'What Day is it???" and said i had to walk around like i was stoned and out of it. OKAAAAAAY. ANd so anyway, when i was in the trailer to get my make up and hair done, the lady had to make my hair look gross and she was playing with it going 'Oh my goodness, you have the most healthy hair i hav ever seen in my life, its fantastic' (haha Howard.) And she said she felt bad for having to wreck it, but i don't mind (the healthiness comes from the special formula shampoo i use to fight baldness... OKAY ITS OUT!!!!)
Anyway after all that stuff we were on set. Man it was boring but it was fun pretending to have a barbeque. It was overcast so we had a fake sun which was a light but the light was really realistic, whichw as cool. But man, it hurt ur eyes. Anyway at lunch i made friends with this girl that had a speaking part. She asked me how much i was being paid. I said around 200 dollars for the day. I asked her how much SHE was being paid and she goes 'Ohhh.... 200 dollars......... per hour" WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT???????????
Helllooooo. Im like "WHO IS YOUR AGENT AND HOW CAN I GET HER TO HIRE ME???" But yeah. Thats the difference ladies and gentlemen between being a pleb extra and being a royalty bit part 'actor'. See, us extras don't even get the term 'actor' we only get hat if we say a line. But man is it worth saying! For 2000 for a days work, hell yes!
And i was talking to her about one of her friends who said A word in the Matrix revolutions as a bit part (ONE WORD!!!) And he got 60 000 dollars. I think thats disgusting, but hey, big budget movies. That was unordinary, but still.... MAN!
So yeah. I went away feeling poor. So now i have got probably after my agencyu takes away their share 170 from today (which i'll get in about 6 weeks) and 50 from the other uni one i did last week. So yay. Around 200 bucks. Hrrrrm. Not bad considering what i have been getting lately (NOTHING!)... I am in debt to my parents just a smidgin.
Anyway i'll stop writing now. I have been given FEEDBACK that my blogs are too long. Oh and P.S. U can't use any words to do with F on my blog otherwise i have to delete ur comments... Coz i just can't say nething. Or ppls last names or nethin. So i use F for that word... ( oh i just realise what that sounded like. I mean the place i have been working duh.) So just be careful when ur posting on my blog. OKAY???
Catch ya later. I leave for melbourne ion 6 sleeps! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voting for the Gangstas

8 sleeps till Melbourne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! Im gonna have fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn with my Friendssssssssssssssssss! YAY! I am so excited! YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's gonna bust up.
And I have been thinking about the requests for gangsta names for Lachy and Sam. Which is funny, i have become the official bestower of gangsta names. Which is a kak, coz mine is so wussy. Hahaha. I mean hard core and manly. I would like to say that Lachy helped me with all of these suggestions.
These are our suggestions for Lachy:
M.C. Ratpoo
M.C. Lame Rat
M.C. Lachlame
L-dawwwg (poo) the poo is silent
Ratlock
Ratlach
M.C. Lameron
L.C. Ratlock
L.C. Ratpoo

These are our suggestions for Sam:
M.C. SHAM (Like u have a lisp saying sam - i totally like this one)
Shadyman
M.C. Sandman
Brother Sam (This is totally cool when u think of it like a brother from da possay hood. Not a monk brother)
S-Lamb (hahaha)
S-Panther
Sammybooty (Inspired by the S.A. girls)
Mr Bootyliscious (Also inspired by the S.A. girls)

We are open to suggestions for gangsta name suggestions (must be clean and not too mean) or totally feel free to say which one of these ones u think is best.

Condition Worsens.

Well wouldn't you know it, I am thinking about continuing Diploma now. See, look what you Sydney North kiddies did. Thanks a lot.

Debbie and Jenny, Star Wars and Bannanas

Well I am writing this from Thornleigh near Hornsby, but what's probably more exciting than that is that i am sitting at the same computer that D.G uses, in her HOUSE!!! OOOHHHHHH!!!! Wow... And i slept over at Jenny and Debbies house last night on their sofa bed... Now my guess is that not many of you can say that, so i feel quite special, quite up there in the world.
Can i just say that Star Wars, while it was not the best movie, it was immensly fun.I would like to say that i do NOT look anything like Jaja Binx (i hate that alien so much!!!) And If i want to call it a light saver instead of light saber then i shall. Thankyou very much...
How cute is Yoda!!!! OMGOSH!!! He is the cutest little alien man... He reminds me of my old Japanese teacher from primary school -sooo cute! And R2D2 was such a funny robot. I want to take him home! But in my opinion c3po is a bit of a dork.
OH I COULDN'T BELIEVE ANNAKIN KILLED THOSE KIDDIES!!! Could they have gotten a cuter little kid to do that part? "Annakin, *lip quivers* did you come to save us?" and then u just see Annakins light saver shoot on. O MY GOSH!!! RUDE! That was so horrible! Annakin turned into such a darth vador poo head. I was just like 'O no u dient, somone needs to bring U down... Step down.' But unfortunately it did not effect what was happening on the screen.
Oh and there was this guy in the row in front of me that i totally didn't know from a bar of soap, and i was talking to this little kid about that add before the movie with the girl and her toy bunny rabbit, and how it was not her bunny rabbit because it was different and we were having a little argument about it (haha, i was arguing about a toy rabbit on an add with a 10 year old... HAHAHA... Im a weirdo)... ANYWAY, we got onto the topic of toy names and i said i had a toy monkey and his name is Banannas (he was my favourite ever since i got him at aged 9. I even took him to Poatina for grade 12!) And neway and this random guy gets involved in teh convo and said how stupid my name was for MY toy monkey! And im liek 'exceeeuuuuseeee me?' and he's like 'You heard me...' and i said 'well its becvause he eats bananas' and he's like 'well thats stupid isn't it, i don't call you KFC' and i said 'Well actually i don't eat KFC, it gives me indogestion and sets off my irritable bowel syndrome, so that wouldn't make sense anyway. So there :P" and he just gave me a weird look, and i could see he was searching for something to say but didn't have much! So YAY! That's right step down, me and Bannanas rule. He said somethign else but it sooo was not a good call. HAHA. He seemed like an okay guy tho, once u got past the butting in and ridiculingness.
Anyway, it was fun. And yay for today and Howies Picnic of Fun!!!! YAY!!! Hope i see you all again soon! :D Love you ALL.
P.S. I hope i see CERTAIN PEOPLE I HAV SPOKEN TO commenting on my blog. Thankyou. :) Wow. Now im resorting to threats to get comments on my blog. Ha. No not really.

Manly

Well i had my extra special day today -- Hahaha. How corny and cheezy. Oh well, yes iwas an extra today. I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE A DRUNK PARTY HARD FRAT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) YAY!
Today was set in the 'Uni Lounge' so there was a coffee club (which was fake to my dissapointment) and some lounges with some thingies and some fake signs pointing to the bar, the counselors office and the D quad... Whatever that its... Ha ha.
But yeah. It was quite good. Campus has now changed its name to 'Headlander' which i thoguth was smart coz it sounds less typical cheap teen sit com... But still, it IS a cheap typical sit com. HAHA. It's funny coz it's true... Kind of like the simpsons...
So today i was a student moving between classes with my backpack and a supercool bag that says 'Stadford Uni Rocks' HAHA. Lame. But anyway, there's nothing like fake uni team spirit! HAHA.
The costume lady loved my clothes, which was good. She said i tried to steal something from the wardrobe of the set and wouldn't believe me that im not a clepto until i said 'as if i would want it anyway, its all yucky people's taste' i think coz it was her taste she knew i wouldn't say it unless itwas true.
Oh there was a bad scene in there where one of the guys had to dress as a giant contraceptive and I had to stand next to him in the uni lounge and hav a conversation with another girl... It was weird and awkward...
And theer was another scene where i had to mouth "Oh my gosh, she is SUCH a LOSER. Look at the top she's wearing... Hellooooo, that wasn't in since the 1970's!" So u can see what type fo audience this show is going to appeal to... TEENYBOPPERS!!!! Haha
So that was my day and it was interesting... And awkward... and fun. YAY! The opther extras were really friendly and they thought i was a cutey pie coz we were sharing our first kiss stories and i said i hadn't kissed ne1 before. They thought that was so funny 'but so cute'... Yay. Just what i always wanted to be. Hey im not cute! I'm MANLY. MMMMMMAAAAANNNNNLLLLLYYYY!!!!

The Extra

I'm officially an extra again! Haha. I have this agent who virtually fired me like about 6 weeks before the Uluru. And I had done like one thing, but had got a regular job on a show and was about to do a series of mobile phone adds. Anyway then she fired me because she's a lunatic (show business people are ridiculously unreasonable).
And so anyway she rung me while i was actually at Uluru, and so i said i'd call her when i got back. And so i called her and she hung up after i mentioned money i hadn't been payed. But since then i have been asked to do All Saints and Superman but have been working at Hornsby. So i said no. Anyway she called me today (i hav been payed from b4) and said she wants me to do Campus thursday and Superman movie on friday! Anyway, i HATE doing the extra work because its like everyone treats u like poo because ur at the bottom of the food chain really... But i need money... So i said i'd do it. But i turned down friday (which was hte big bucks!!! 300 for 8 hours!!!!) because we r goin to the movies :) :) So don't worry i didn't forget everyone!

But anyway i figure, I lost money doin the extra thing but if i do this last job, i'll come out even and i'll have had experience doing television. I always wanted to be an actor, but after doing my first job, i hated it, so i figure it's good that i figured it out that i didn't really enjoy television acting (Stage acting, now THAT'S different!) Haa.
Its for the show Campus which is a new show and hasn't been aired yet. Its a typical teenage show about a group of Uni students who's life orientates around a bar. Which is funny because i hate bars and have never been drunk. I wonder why they keep picking me for that show? Last time i was on, the director told me to act drunk and draw from my personal experiences... I was like ummm.... And he's like "No way... Don't tell me you've never been drunk... How old are you??? I don't believe it..." And im like "Would you believe i've only been in one bar before and i didn't drink?" HAHAHA And he told the whole studio and they all laughed at me. Nevertheless i did it and i was really good (coz i love acting dramatic and they said it needed to be BIG) and they were impressed and offered me a regular (extra) part on the show, I would have been the Pub alcoholic student... but that all came to an end when Miss Agency fired me. RUUUUUUUUDE!
So now i hav a pooey extra job again tommorow, at least they serve EXCELLENT food on that show (All Saints gives such poo food... I should know, the cook is my friend, and he says they'r budget is SO low)... And i should get paid about 110 bucks for it... Which is really low for a TV ojb, but hey, its cash. And i should be paid it in like 6 weeks. Maybe i can use it towards goin to Tasmania. Hrrrm YAY!
Okay so everyone has to pray for me coz i get so nervous because of the environment that it is in Television... And so im really scared!!! It feels like going to a new job everytime. So its nerve racking!!! K thanks bubbye! Luv u all, c u Friday!

Todays tuesday and im having a bad day. When ur unemplyed u go through these up and down days where you feel okay one minute and then you feel down the next. Wow. Im unemployed. Thats the first tmie i've worded it like that. That is so gross. I can't believe im unemployed. Today's a down day. I hate being unemplyed, and it feels like im such a loser. (I'll be moving to Western Sydney next ha ha.)
I am a worker! I like being busy and having things to do and having stuff i can be in charge of and be creative with. Projects. I love projects. My project here is cleaning my room and the only reason why thats taking so long is because im scared of finsihing it because there will be nothing else to do!
I hang out with friends but big woop. I don't even like them, they're 12 year olds stuck in 19 year old bodies. Plus they're going nowhere and fast. Except maybe the pub. Woo hoo. They used to look up to me like "Oh, Matty, ur doing what you want and your not taking no for an answer, wish i could do that", but now its like im just one of them, which is NOT what i want.
I'm sick of dreaming too, what would i do if i could do anything? Blah, what a dumb question that seems atm. What you can do looks like it depends on who you are and how much money you or your family has right now.
I have felt so disabled after coming back from Queensland.
It's raining which is totally nice. I love it when it rains, it seems like life is more real or something when it rains (im not one of those 'im happy when it's sunny' kind of people:))
You know? I feel like i am a kid again. Like 16. OH!!! I miss being that age. I had big brothers that helped me out when i was in grade 12. I want a big brother again. One thats more than two minutes older than me. Actually what i really would like is a mentor. I reckon i'td be cool to have a brother that was like 23. He'd take me for a drive (i love just going for drives with my big bros) and we'd talk about stuff and muck around. And he'd be heaps interested andn stuff and give good advice. I reckon i'll find one soon. Thats why i really need to find a church. So i can be connected with people that are like me (not like me, but who share common things with me) especially my faith. Because thats the most important thing to me. I am so thankful for my church background, it's been so uniquely special and building up. Church is so important to me. Funny, i haven't been to a church regularly for over 2 years (coz ive been with F and been a bit busy trecking to different based locations). A bit sad, bit sad. I hope I get a job somewhere so i can base myself in a church straight away. My church here in SS is a bit passed its expiry date with me. Its great and all but i was goin there before i went to Taz and i've changed so much. Plus i can't make friends there coz of certain career choices i have been making lately and because i hang around with 21-25 year olds comfortably, and those dudes at my church in SS used to be my Youth Leaders (and if you used to know me as a young person, you'd know why that really won't work now... I was the hardest kid to work with that church has ever experienced. HAHA)... Poor things. I really was a horrible little demonstrator. Even though i always tried to be good, but if i disagreed with something, man they knew about it!! HAHA.
Oh well, at least im goin to Melbourne soon and at least i can go to the movie thing this weekend. Things'll look up just around the corner, i hope.

'Bling Bling' ewwwwww

OMGOODNESS! I just heard the radio and there was a guy on it who called from western sydney haha and said that he was king of the 'bling bling' and asked for money so he could buy more 'bling bling' because the lady's like 'bling bling'... HAHA Thats flippin hillarious! HA! O pleaz girrrl get a clue!
Can i just say to all the males up in hea that while girls may be attracted to bling bling at first (coz girls generally like pretty things), if you are a low life scum, then the attraction isn't going to last very long no matter how much 'bling' (haha i hate that word!) you drape over yourself. HAHA I mean Hellooooooooooooooooo, my friend and i laughed for ages at how lame this guy was then we made aprank call and pretended to be one of those bling bling guys and trust me, our friend on the other end thought it was ridiculous too. Let this be a lesson learned! I mean as if any girl listening to that guy on the radio thought he was attractive! Ewwwwyy... HAHAHAHAHA What a kak. Here's the real deal:
Girls want a real man. And thats not made by bling bling and gangsta pants and street talk. U hearin me baby girrrl? Haha. For real tho.

Lesson in Stage Presence

Well this day I had a bit of fun... I attempted cleaning my room again today for about the 5th time this week, (I like being neat and tidy but i'm not)... Unfortunately thigns to do is kind of limited by the money you have haha. Unfortunately. But i did however get to have a good catch up with Lisa my mate from C4... That was heaps good catchin up and stuff, i love that girl. She's just like a boy! It's hillarious. She's the best.
Oh and can i JUST SAY that it is good to see Steve FINALLY commenting on my blog... Go Steve Go Steve, it's ur birthday! (please no one ask if its actually steves birthday, coz its not...) :D HAHA
I also got to catch up with Chris D a little while ago which was fun. I was training him a while ago in having stage presence. He's heaps talented and is definately going to make it. It was so fun, i made all tehse lessons up about characterisation and movement and use of vocals and all this stuff about stage presence (It was just made up, but it was so fun) and i reckon it did him a world of good. I mean, he wanted to make a character that was really Aussie. Is that it??? An occa Aussie character for a rapper??? Ummm I don't think so... The last thing the world needs is another impersination of disgusting stereotype of the Australian male... HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When ur creating a character for Stage Presence... Hello, u need to pick something that excentuates YOUR shortcomings, not you countries! HAHA
Take M-Kat for example. I made that up because i am so not a gangsta. Plus, when i am performing as M-Kat I pretend that I am totally hard core and that i think the name M-Kat is hardcore. But as if it is... Hellooo... M-Kitty? But it works heaps well tho because im the opposite of a gangsta. Im a snag who likes to go to bed early and have d+m's with friends...
So now that i have shared with you a bit from my wisdom of stage presence, which isn't really wisdom its just hot air coming from my mouth, i hope you have learnt a bit of the makings of MEE. Even though it was hot air, i hop Chris took some of it on board coz i mean, i still really disagree with the Occa Aussie thingy - HAHA it still cracks me up.
Far out, i can't wait for Star Wars this weekend. Even though i hate all the new Star Wars Episodes. Its still worth it coz i get to c ppl and stuff. So i am really hanging out for Friday. Man it must sound like i have absolutely no life whatsoever. I promise i do. Just lately it's been a bit of a smaller life, and a little harder to find. I think it may have gotten lost in my room somewhere. I'll have to clean it up tommorow.

Hey! This is SOO not a loser blog now! I knew it~ YAY~ ppl read my stuff! C 8 comments, 7 comments, 8 comments, 9 comments! This is wonderful! I am so happy!

So i chickened out of my driving thingy today. So what? Shutup...thats why... Naaa i didn't nchicken out i just cancelled and thought id better space them out more coz i only have 3 left that i have payed for. AAAGGGHHH.

Other than that i am heaps bored ay and i miss everyone so much! My imaginary Day was heaps better than my real one. In my imaginary day this morning i got my licence and went to Hornsby and hung out with Jenny and Howie at IKEA, then i had a coffe with Steve and saw a movie, then Margie and i went and toilet papered Steve's house and blamed it on Howie. Then I went and got Lachy and Sam and passed on some prank call knowledge from the master like i promised i would one day and got up to some mischief. Then we threw a big dance party at Jacks for everyone! That'd rock actually... we should so have a dance party. How fun
My imaginary day was great.

Mr Miagi may have been an awesome karate teacher, but he really blows at teaching driving... Haha. Naaa he's okay, i am just the SLOWEST learner of how to drive ever! I can't get it right! Im so nervous all the time. I can't wait till i have my licensce. But i have been procrastinating tho. Like with practicing so it's probably my fault. Oh. Its taking up so much money as well. You know its 300 bucks for 6 lessons? And that includes 2 lessons for the test. What a waste!!! Plus 40 dollars extra for test charges. Oh paleeeeeaaasse. It's such a rip man.

Oh well. Good news, im going to Melbourne for about 3 weeks at the end of the month. Its a surprise to me as well. But yep, that's whats happening! YAY! That'll be fun. Maybe. Im gonna stay with Megan!!! YAY! I'm booking the flight today! So im quite excited for that.

Job hunting is proving once again difficult mainly because i am all over the place with knowing what i should do. So YAY! I am now inspecting jobs over 4 different states! How freaky. Anyway pray for me if ur into that! YAY.
Love ya all! Oh ps. I have my driving lesson today at three. I am SOOO nervous. I hate them so much ewww. Just like swimming lessons when i was in infants and primary school. Okay thanks guys. Bai!

YAY!

Hi everyone! I am SOOOO tired. Stayed up late last night and then the mower man came at like 6:30 in the morning and woke e up. Oh well.
I had a pretty good day. It was fairly uneventful. But it was fun neway. I talked to a few ppl from other states i haven't talked with in ages!
I spoke to Jake as well and that was heaps awesome coz we haven't caught up in AGES and i always love reconnecting. He is well and yeah. He actually asked me if i wanted to move in with him HULLO! Hahaha. I've had 3 ppl ask me to move in with them this month. Why do ppl think i am easy to live with? I am sure im not! I like going to bed early unless theres a good reason to stay up, i don't like lots of noise... pretty much its like living with an old woman who says 'o no u di-ent' alot.
But nevertheless i was asked. I said no because we've lived with each other before and as enjoyable as it was it was very hard as well because we are just SOOOOOOOOOOO different we clash, but we stick together like glue. Its weird. Its a bit contrasting. I love Jake.
Hrrrm. Still don't know what to do. At the moment i have got a few options including working for F in Sydney North. I don't know what to do, im gonna talk to steve about it this week hopefully. But yeah. God has been providing things for me thoguth and making opportunities.
I kind of wanted to tell the Sydney North Office guys this first but y'know thats okay, the thing i decided to do before was a course. I found a course i have decided to do and its one of the things i wanted to do! So yeah Im planning on doing this course and its good because its external and self paced which means that i can do other stuff and live in any state i want. So yeah. Thats tops stuff. So even though i have the same dillemma as before as what to do, i know whatever i do, at least i will be working towards a qualification. So thsts really good and God really provided that> It was funny, because i looked at this stuff before and it was as if this course just appeared on my computer screen to do! So yeah. Its a bit fun. Oh and it totally will fit my budget (eventually when i get some money!)
So YAY. YAY for Howie's talk, Yay for God, Yay for relaxing, Yay for courses and Yay for movie night.
Love you all! Matty

Busy + Churchless.

Its surprising how busy u are even when u have nothing to do. Actually it prolly just feels busy coz im busy procrastinating the inevitable workload. Hrrrm.
Well today is tuesday and i hav been at home all day. Dogged a bit by my friends. We went out last night and omgoodness, it was SUCH a reminder of before i did CIV. Lordy! But it was still fun.
But today we were all supposed to go out after lunch, but nooooo. I get this call after lunch to say that they had decided they wanted a new garden so went on a cleptomaniac run through this gardening place to steal lots of stuff. So i got a bit dogged today. But thats okay.
Tonight im meant to go out with them too. I don'tknow what we're meant to be doing tonight, as long as it doesn't have anything to do with stealing or bashing people up i am generally okay with it. Ohhhhhh,, unless we wind up at Oatley Pub for like 6 hours playing pool and choking on recycled ciggarrete smoke. Yuk. I HATE Pubs, most of all Oatley pub. DIRRRRTY.
Anyway maybe i should just make some new friends, i don't have any others, they all live in North Sydney. Poo. Oh well its all good still.
I really need to find a church. One with ppl who i really bond with and make lots and lots of friends! YAY!!! Being churchless is a bit iscolating.

Well I feel so much better... It was quite a coincidence from yesterdays drama, but something happened last night I feel better. No i didn't win the lottery.

Today I went home again after DT. I went to Berowra Station, realised I didn't have enough money for the train. My last cash was gone after i bought a ticket to Central Station. I spent that journey wondering how i could get home and if there would be police ont he trains today and thinking how I could get home. Maybe i could scab from people at Central? Maybe i could just go to mortdale without a ticket and hope i don't get asked? When i got to Central i went out into the city and tried to find an ATM i was sure i had $30 in there, i went to three ATMs which were closed for mothers day, i walked for about an hour and came across an ATM in which was not for my card but it took it anyway, charged me 3 dollars fifty for the transaction.
I was upset when i got back to Central Station because i realised the money i thought i had in my account was not there. But i got twenty at least. So I bought another ticket home and a lady was tapping me on the shoulder saying "2 dollars for a train fare?" She thought the ticket was a different price to what it actually was. I wanted to say to her "That just happened to me and i had to go outside and look for 45 minutes to find an ATM, sorry" but I said "oh, sure" and gave it to her. I walked away thinking "Matthew you are an IDIOT" for that. Then I waited for the train which came pretty quickly.
I got on and sat down and i don't know why but i just cried. I cried from Central to Hursteville. This guy and these old couples were staring at me but i didn't really care. I don't think i was crying because of the money or anything, it was more that I didn't have any more money and didn't know how i was going to get more any time soon which means i couldn't come to Hornsby anymore to do anything and just stuff like that which got me thinking about the future and not knowing what i am going to do next. Like I just DON'T KNOW what im going to do and i felt really scared all of a sudden.
Then i remembered Howies talk about God and him getting the course coz of his disability and the money that appeared in his bank account. But then i was like "yeah, but i don't have a disability and so God can't do that for me'. And so i was getting deeper into this feeling of being trapped and not having a direction.
Then the police asked me for my ticket and i was able to show them i had one. YAY. And I got out at Mortdale and went to go home. Had about ten bucs in my pocket at that stage.
I thought okay it works for howie, so i thought 'okay i'll pray' and so i prayed about things and didn't feel heaps better. Then I wanted to listen to a CD and i thought "Ok ive tried listening to Goid for like five minutes now and he hasn't said anything'... haha. So i turned on the radio on my CD player and the song that played was "You should let me love you" by Mario.
"Baby i just don't get it, do you enjoy being hurt?....If i was ur man, baby you'd never worry bout what i do... Your the type or person who deserves good things... Baby your a star, i just want to show you you are... You should let me love you, let me be the one who, gives you everything youwant and need... Baby good love and protection, make me your selection, show you the way loves supposed to be... Your a dime plus ninety nine and its a shame u don't even know what your worth... You deserve better, so you should let me love you"
Meh. After that i felt a little bit better and i got home. I guess i feel now like at least there is a plan for what im meant to do, which kind of means that theres a way to know what it is... and i thought i would blog it coz it was worth blogging and it was the most significant thing thats happened in the past couple of days.

Okies I am totally @ Hornsby now ready for the DT. Great. I am SOOOO tired from last night and it wasn't even that full on. Went for another driving test this morning. The little man got aggravated today because i was still reverse parking like i had something wrong with me. But oh well. He's a funny one. He told me to pull over somewhere so i did and he's like 'tut tut tut... it is a bus zone, u don't park in bus zone'... and im like 'OKAYYYY then y did u say to?' 'You are the driver Matt. You are in control not me"... 'Mr Miagi!!! Did you trick me?" "hehe, maybe a little one" HAHA he's such a funny one. Cracks me up.

Then after that my friend came over we bumbed around and then went to the city and went shopping (with no $$ but hey, its still fun)... I tried on a pair of 600 dollar jeans that i really liked. That was fun but i felt so bad wearing jeans that were worth that much. Keeping in mind that im NOT form Sydney North (us south siders can't afford these extravagances

False Alarm

Okay i do not have the correct address of Paris Hilton. The email came back via mailer Daemon. RUUUUUDE internet scam. Pooey pooey poohead. Ok im over it now. YAY :)

Paris Hilton

I just emailed Paris Hilton! How fun! I got her apparant email off the internet (wow im bored) and emailed her. Its such a scam. It's prolly not her address, but if it is i'll ket you know ;)
You know, i actually don't mind Paris all that much. People make fun of her and don't like her much, but i don't know, at least she says what she thinks. It would be hard not to be totally stuffed up living a life in Hollywood. Anyway, that's just what i think.

No emails sucks. And forwards totally don't count as emails.

Holla @ mae

Today was boring, but i get to go out tonight and thats all that counts. Hope its fun and that i can dance properly. OOoohhh I was watchin Ciara on her videoclip and she was bustin some really awesome moves and so i learnt them this morning. I hope i remember them. I love Mtv, its the closest thing to dance school ive got.
I got a job offer today. But it felt wrong somehow. Which is funny coz its in a church, but seriously it felt wrong. But all of the church offers of stuff and advertisements,whenever i have thought and prayed about it, they really feel just wrong. Which is a bit bad., But also good because i guess then that u know it narrows down the options. I have about 6 options available to me and i guess its working out which is the right one. That actually leaves me with 4 now. So yeah, hopefully some more get eliminated by that really gross wrong feeling. Ewww.
Kcya gangsta's Saturday.

Dance boo boo

I hurt my neck today while i was choreographing! The move was awesome at least tho. But yeah. My neck hurts alot and i can't turn my head to the left. So you have to pray that it gets better quick coz I am supposed to go out tommorow night dancing for my friends party and it will be a bit painful if it isn't better. But other than that YAY for dancing!

Driving Test

Okay it wasn't so bad. I had a cute little old greek man who was really polite. He did say my driving needed (alot of) work but hay... I tried to reverse park and he kept doing a Mr Miagi thing 'tut tut tut tut tut'... It was kind of funny. I was a really bad parker. But i will get better!

Okay so i have my driving lesson tomorrow with a proffessional. I am really scared and nervous. I hate driving teachers. So pray for me. I am also in a bad mood because i confided this with someone and they got up me because "Who cares if u don't wanna do it coz u hav to do it" and that was a bit hurtful coz it's like hello, like im gonna tell u how im feeling anymore. Plus it wasn't like i was gonna ditch it. Plus its not like that gave me any more information coz i already knew i had to do it. LOL HELLOOOO... and so now i am not very comfortable at the moment and i am scared about driving. I don't like driving. But it will be good to hav a licence. Hope i hav a good teacher the last 4 teachers i had were all sleazy yucky guys. I asked for a girl teacher coz im more comfortable but surprise they had none. So i hav a guy. I hope he is okay.
Oh well. I need to remember what Hillary Duff says "So i won't give up, and i won't break down, sooner than it seems life turns around... and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong... even in the dark i'll still believe... That someones watching over me."
YAY. U know who else is really wise? Dolly Parton apparantly.
AAAAhhhh driving. And anger. Not a good mix.

Shut up! Thats why!

Hellooooo u can so make comments now. I don't want my blog looking like a loser blog that no one reads or comments on because ppl think they can't comment. I changed the setting yesterday so now anyone can comment. So do it! The only way my blog is looking like a loser blog is if it really is a loser blog. Not just one in disguise.
And just so u all know, my blog is totally not a loser blog so if u were thinking it, then 'OH NO U DI-ENT!'... Okay i think it's obvious i just wanted an exceuse to say that line coz its my fav... Shut up! Shut up - thats why!

Reunion

How good was the reunion hey? I thought it was pretty tops. Hrrrm I think we shoud have another one next week. Hahaha. Maybe not next week, but in a couple of months. How fun!

my friend and freedom tattoos!

Today one of my friends came over and we're having a sleepover! YAY! She's one of those people can talk to ehr about anything. We always talk about Grace. It's awesome. It always reminds me of some experiences i have had earlier on in life that make me come alive and get me passionate. I wish i could find that again. I am sure i will in God's time. Sometimes even though i know it in my head it's good to be reminded that Gods Grace knnows no bounds and that it is enough even for someone like me. It reminds me of my freedom in God and how i am not bound by anything anymore, no law or religious regulation. I am free. I love that word freedom. If i ever got a tattoo i think i would tattoo freedom on me coz it just says it all. Even though i don't feel free all the time, i really am.
I am so lucky. I am one of the lucky ones. Im so thankful for my past and for my journey and what i have experienced. And nothing can ever steal that from me. It just makes me happy thinking about it.
I guess this is a bit of a weird blog entry. Sorry if it looks overly Christian. I hate that type of stuff. Im not writing to preach, this blog is just for me.